JUNE ISSUE: POST #3
I’ve hit a brick wall. Not literally, because that would hurt way too much and I don’t have enough money to buy new glasses again. But it’s gotten to the point where I look at a controller and I wonder how do I use this? What is this contraption that I hold before me? I start up a game on the PS2 and I’m fumbling around with a Wii remote bellowing why on earth won’t the dude on the screen run? I’m pressing ‘Y’ goddammit! I’ve literally become a temporary angry Granny at 22 years old.
I say temporary because this has happened before. I’ll suddenly lose all interest in what I’m doing, lose all basic skill and put my undivided attention into something else (although that new hobby hasn’t been knitting winter sweaters just yet). Although, thinking about it, I’m lucky that this doesn’t happen with people because I think both my Dad and my husband would be very upset with me at this point.
But with that being said, I know that some people on this earth must feel the same as I do, right? Suddenly you wake up and you don’t feel like doing that one thing that you thought was your passion for the last month or something that actually made life enjoyable, and then you’re like, crap, well that’s the end. I’m ready for the sun to explode and obliterate all existence.
But really it’s not the end. I know you must think I’m crazy, but if you’re anything like me, you just need a break (and a kit-kat).
I understand that some people never technically need a break though. They could play games (or do anything- …, no, not that) forever if they didn’t need to sleep or eat or, well, live, but we’re not infinite (unfortunately) and we’re not a cyborg. We’re like a Sim. That bladder meter is going to go into the red at some point, and if you don’t attend to that need, then someone’s gonna need to fetch a mop, and possibly a paper bag to hide your shame.
I understand also that there have been some stories of people actually dying because they get addicted and forget to tend to their basic human needs, which is a scary thought, and which is why the fact that I don’t really get ‘addicted’ to things doesn’t bother me as much as I thought. (I also would never put a hobby before food. Food is too important.)
What I’m basically saying is, losing interest in something for a while is okay, and losing motivation is natural, and this is what I’m trying to tell myself (even though it is gaming, which should be a crime). I received some really lovely replies and messages from people, saying that it’s okay if I need to take a break from gaming or writing, and while I feel kind of defeated, they’re right. It’s hard to discipline yourself and do something day in and day out, without it getting at least 1% tedious. We’re humans, not a bloody machine. As much as we’d all probably like to sit mindlessly at a computer with a mechanical brain doing all the work for us, it wouldn’t make life very interesting.
I ramble a lot, I know, but whilst gaming and writing isn’t my biggest passion right now, I have been attending to some other hobbies that I’ve neglected, such as language learning and art (and eating spaghetti). I find it hard to stick to everything at once, but my interests are always deep inside me somewhere (which makes me slightly uncomfortable. I’m glad they don’t talk to me.) and they’re ready to jump out again at some point, I know it. They just need time to reflect.
Sure, it’s a completely different story when you’re talking about work versus hobbies, because sometimes we just can’t control what we have to do for work. But as for hobbies, we can do them as little or as much as we want. So we have to be kind to them, otherwise, we may burn out and lose them forever.
So please, don’t be like me and feel guilty for taking a break from an interest or hobby. You shouldn’t force yourself to do something, because it might take the fun out of it and then where would you be? You’d be a grumpy Granny, and nobody wants that.
Thank you for reading and Happy Gaming (or Happy whatever-you-do-for-fun!)